Dr Jack Says - Got Culture?

CONTRATS TO MANN U AND SPAIN

2008-08-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

MANN U - CHAMPIONS LEAGUE CHAMPIONS

SPAIN - EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS 2008

STEROIDS IN SPORTS?

2008-08-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

Everyone is using performance enhancing drugs these days, lower cholesterol, overcoming depression, and hardening penises. If a middle aged man is willing to take a pill to increase his performance in bed and impress his wife/mistress, don't you think a professional baseball player might take a pill to increase his performance at the plate in front of 60,000 fans?

I do not advocate drug use in sports, but as long as we use drugs everywhere else, what chance do we have of eliminating it from the sporting venues?

And what about the Olympics? Brought to you by the Blue Pill...

Tour de France

2008-08-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

Great Tour de France this year. Congrats to TEAM CSC, the yellow was truly a team victory this year.

Back to Politics

2008-08-02T15:38:00.000-07:00

Barack Hussein Obama for President? There was a gasp from the crowd at Fox News...

Well, now that the Democrats and Republicans have chosen their horses, the gloves have come off. The Republican attack machine took a little while to warm up, and understandably so. You had to be careful attacking Hussein Obama. You might get called a racist, and if such a tag sticks in the 21st century, you are finished.

So the Republicans took a few jabs to see what would fly. The press is OK with: not patriotic,
elitist, presumptuous, inexperienced, untested. Never mind that all of these accusations have racist overtones. Accusing the Republican attack machine of racism would miss the point. The point is to destroy him, by any means necessary. If calling Obama a "racist cracker" would work, they would do it. Certainly the Republicans hope to connect with an unconscious sentiment that this uppity black man is getting too big for his britches. Hence, the suggestion that John McCain is an regular guy, Joe-average. This is simply a play out of the Clinton handbook. Recall that Hillary Clinton, product of an elite private school, former first lady and New York State Senator, was swilling beer and bourbon at the blue collar happy hour by the end of her campaign.

This is where it gets interesting. Anyone watching these days would note how truth is turned completely on its head in American presidential elections. Somehow, the son of a Navy Admiral, and life-time Washington politician and insider, is the Joe-average six-pack.

And the guy who was raised by a single mom, at times on welfare, is elitist.

Oddly, both Republicans and Democrats ought to be relieved that the other sides chose moderate politicians with records of rational decision making. But Republicans in particular have decided that only a scorched earth policy can play this season. They accuse Obama of being the most liberal politician in Washington DC, which is of course, non-sense. This is now simply the mantra of the Republicans before every presidential election. The Democrats could choose Hitler as their candidate and the Republicans would accuse him of being the most liberal Nazi of all time.

The real pity here is that the issues facing the nation are staggering, and a healthy debate of these issues would do wonders for the national psyche. Instead, the Republicans have decided to rely on these curious insinuations: he is presumptuous. Frankly, I am not even sure what that would mean in this context.

Steroids in baseball...no?

2007-12-19T07:38:00.000-08:00

OK, who was really surprised to hear that athletes are willing to use performance enhancing drugs in order to earn millions of dollars playing a game? The only surprise here is that there appear to be one or two players who didn't use the drugs. They probably just didn't have the right connections.

In the early 1980's, HGH was popular with body builders because its reputation was that with the right training you could add 25 pounds of muscle mass to your body. The only knock on the drug was that it sometimes caused bones to re-calcify, which could mean your jaw would get bigger, you feet might get bigger, etc. See Tom Potts (1980's body builder and Barry Bonds 1990-2000's base-baller). Hands, feet, jaw, head, don't normally just grow in your thirties. Such growth is typically associated with an infusion of hormones that can have natural causes (pregnancy) and artificial causes (hormone replacement or supplement). Unless Barry and Tom were pregnant, they were probably supplementing body with hormones.

When the heat was applied, a few athletes decided to take the "high" road and admit their use. Jason Giambi was one of the first. Now their are more. And good for them. This doesn't make them heros, it makes them human. But no worries there. You can't be a hero by swinging a baseball bat or catching a football anyway. That is merely entertainment.

Still, in an industry that trades on pseudo-hero worship, we should credit those athletes who are willing to behave like human beings, take responsibility for their actions and move on.

For those who continue to lie in order to protect their pseudo-hero status, I can only hope that their fall from grace is as ignominious as their rise - on the foundation of illegal performance enhancing drugs.

To all the athletes out there, America doesn't really care if you used drugs. But lying to us just insults us, and we don't like to be insulted.

Pakistan

2007-11-15T06:01:00.001-08:00

This is a tricky one for the Bush Administration. Pakistan's military dictatorship supports the US war on terror, even if they do give aid and comfort to Islamic Terrorist organizations. The same dictatorship also supports US investment in Pakistan. Although the US would like to see Pakistan become more democratic, they worry that strong support for the democratic movement in Pakistan might lead the dictatorship to further embrace Islamic Extremism. So, to protect their interests, the Bush administration is giving aid and comfort to the military dictatorship that is arresting thousands of Pakistan's citizens, suspending the constitution, and holding the opposition party in confinement.

Bush is not likely to walk away from this one smelling too good.

Immigration?

2007-06-28T13:35:00.000-07:00

The senate just killed Bush's immigration package. I think we should all be pleased. Mind you, I support my Spanish speaking brothers from south of the border and welcome them to the USA. I am not sure that we should just open the borders, but neither do I support militarizing the borders.

Either way, I never trust the government to solve these problems. Furthermore, I like the idea of a huge black market economy in the country. Sure, it puts a strain on public services, but so does sending the military to foreign countries to kill people. On the whole, I think it is better to spend the money loving our neighbors than killing them. But hell, that whole love your neighbor thing has never really been taken seriously by anyone, has it?

Bush on Global Warming

2007-05-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

President Bush says he plans to address the question of global emissions in an effort to reduce greenhouse gasses. Environmentalists are skeptical, because over the last 6 years Bush's administration has consistently rolled back environmental protection regulation and refused to participate in the 1997 Kyoto Protocol.

I am willing to give the President a chance on this issue. Perhaps he has had a change of heart on the question. Perhaps his daughters said, "Dad, your environmental policies will result in the destruction of the planet before you see your grandchildren."

Environmentalists distrust President Bush, and so should anyone who likes to breath clean air and drink clean water. But the question isn't President Bush, the question is the environment. If it is the environment hating President Bush that fixes the environment, so be it.

American Injustice

2007-05-23T20:06:00.001-07:00

In California, a district attorney decided not to press charges against eight men from a college basketball team who gang raped a 17 year old girl. Though there were two witnessness, the DA decided he didn't have enough evidence.

Meanwhile, in Atlanta, a federal judge sentenced a woman to ten years in prison for stealing soft drink secrets from Coke. Federal Judge Forrester exceeded the prosecutions request for 63-78 month sentence and instead gave her 8 years. Judge Forrester said, "This is the kind of offense that cannot be tolerated in our society."

The Moral of the Story: If you gang rape a 17 year old girl, its OK, but if you steal the secret formula for a soda from international corporation you will do hard time and lots of it. What a great country.

America's Cup Racing

2007-05-23T19:55:00.000-07:00

The Italians will tackle the Kiwis to compete for the America's Cup against the Swiss. The Swiss? Aye, the Swiss. Not a nation with a great sailing tradition, but for sure a well financed nation. The Swiss bought the Kiwi team five years ago and staged a curious victory. As there is no salt water in the lovely Swiss countryside, the Swiss decided to let the races occur in Spain.

Andiamo Luna Rossa!

AC Milan slips past Liverpool

2007-05-23T19:51:00.001-07:00

AC Milan got some help from the Hand of Maradonna's God and a faulty stopwatch on the wrist of the referee. Still, Inzaghi's second goal was world class and was enough to ensure the Italian side would take home the cup.

No doubt Liverpool fans will wonder why the referee stopped the match about 45 seconds early, or why fan favorite Crouch didn't get into the game until the end, but the English side played a fairly good match, excluding the curious hands in the air defense that took the place of actually marking the players from Milan.

Bush Get's US out of Iraq War

2007-05-09T14:02:00.000-07:00

Credit to George Bush for finally figuring a way out of Iraq. It was a stroke of genius, really. I wouldn't have thought him capable. He has insisted on a war budget that the Democrats in congress wont give him. So they will keep sending him budgets, he will veto them, the money will run out and the troops will come home. The Republican's can blame the Democrats for the retreat and failed financing of the war effort. The Democrats can blame the Republicans for failing to finance the war effort. It will be business as usual and Bush should get the credit for managing such a fine exit from the middle east.

AC Milan crushes Manchester United

2007-05-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

Kaka and friends crushed the English side in the second leg of the Champions League semi final. The Mann U showed none of the brilliance they had produced earlier in their 3-2 victory over the Italian side in England.

AC Milan fans have to feel good after their team scored five goals against Manchester United in two matches. Liverpool managed only one goal in two matches against Chelsea. Still, it will be a clean slate in Greece, and Liverpool beat the Italians in the same final two years ago.

Meanwhile, the Manchester United fans will be dreaming of Sir Alex's replacement.

Paul Floyd Shot in Iraq

2007-04-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

My dear friend, Paul Floyd, was shot yesterday during a raid in Iraq. He was fortunate to have been hit in his right index finger. As my spiritual advisor, Beaman Floyd put it, "He may have to find a new finger to pick his nose with," none the less, we are pleased that he is otherwise safe and sound. His finger was apparently still clinging by a "thread" of skin, and has been sew back on. Hopefully it will return to being a full member of his body. We wish him a speedy recovery.

With luck, Paul Floyd's index finger will have been shot off for a good cause - victory in Iraq. I am still not sure what victory in Iraq might look like. Images of Italians waving American flags as American soldiers march into their cities come to mind, but that opportunity came and went a few years ago. Now we are stuck. We are not literally stuck. The soldiers could leave at any moment. But we are politically stuck because our president has insisted that to leave without victory would be to accept defeat. Well, no American can accept defeat; it isn't in our nature (at least not yet). But not sure what a victory in Iraq might look like, how can we know victory when we see it? Here are a few suggestions for a new vision of victory in Iraq.

1. No Americans shot or killed for 24 hours. "We win, let's go home."
2. Electric power in Bagdad for 12 straight hours. "Now all y'all need is Fox News and this place will be just like America. Mission accomplished, we're going home."
3. Halliburton posts record quarterly earnings. "Mission accomplished, let's go home."
4. We fly a squadron of F-18's over Bagdad while the Navy band plays "God Bless America" in the street. Nobody is killed in the effort. "The streets of Bagdad are safe. Let's go home."
5. Fewer than 10 American's are killed in a month. "The streets of Bagdad are as safe as the streets of Savannah (where Paul is stationed when not in Iraq). Mission accomplished."

Solution in Iraq

2007-04-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

The surge is working, if by working we mean that people are still fighting and getting killed. Everyone is sick of the American involvement in Iraq, not the least of which are the Iraqis. So at some point, the troops must go home. But when? After victory? Nobody knows what victory would look like anymore. The opportunity to march into Bagdad with flags waving and folks singing God Bless America came and went in the first month of the war. So at some point, the president must simply declare victory. See my earlier post.

The solution lies in the hands of the Congress. Rather than declaring that the war is lost, Democrats need to congradulate Bush and a great military strategy, declare victory themselves, since the dolt in the White House refuses to, and stop funding the war on the grounds that it is over and won.

Disaster at Virginia Tech

2007-04-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to hear that all of my friends at Virginia Tech are OK. I am sorry for those killed and injured. Best wishes to my friends and comrades in Blacksburg.

Duke

2007-04-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

It just keeps going. Now that charges against the Duke Lacrosse players have been dropped, there are speculations that they might sue the DA, the woman who charged them, and even Duke University.

Let the suing begin.

Suing their accuser is probably pointless, since their high dollar lawyers would charge more than they could get out of her. Perhaps they could get enough in a settlement to force her to work for them for the rest of her life.

Suing the DA shows promise, but again, even he isn’t worth as much as their lawyers. Rumor has it that the players’ law bills have already crossed the 3 million mark, and that for a case that never went to trail. The DA’s financial statements indicate that he is probably worth less than half a million total. Still, a big enough settlement and perhaps they could make the DA their slave for life too.

Suing Duke University shows real promise. Duke is loaded. Of course, the question is, what did Duke University do that is wrong? I can't imagine what Duke could have done differently. Perhaps they might not have canceled the lacrosse season, but can you really sue a university for canceling its sports games? Duke will settle if they are sued, which will create an interesting precident. While the NFL attempts to crack down on bad behavior, universities will be under legal pressure to take an anything goes approach.

Rape in Durham

2007-04-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

The decision to drop charges against the Duke Lacrosse players comes as a surprise to no one. The case against them was tough. Like almost all rape cases, you have nothing to go on but the testimony of the woman. In most cases society is keen to believe the man. So society immediately attacks the woman's credibility. And once she is found incredible, the case against the man collapses.

Still, studies show that 1 in 4 or even 1 in 3 women are raped in their lifetimes. That's a lot of rape. So you would think that society would have an interest in trying to protect women from all this rape.

Instead, the Duke case has radio and TV personalities wondering why the woman isn't being prosecuted. That's rich. Given that charges brought against men rarely stick, and that we may start prosecuting woman who bring charges against men that don't stick, we should ask, would any woman ever bring charges against any man again.

The result would be to make rape virtually legal.

I don't know what happened that night in Durham. It does not bother me that the Duke Lacrosse team lost its season. It does bother me that our society is so worried about lacrosse players playing lacrosse that there is public outcry to start prosecuting women who accuse men of rape.

Running for President in 2008 - Now

2007-02-20T10:29:00.000-08:00

The Democratic candidates are coming out in droves, and though the elections are still a long way off, the run-up has begun. There are plenty of reasons to begin running for president early, but mostly one must guess it is about raising money. Still, I have to think that President Bush's low approval rating is causing folks to come out of the closet early. Now is the best time to bash the president, and no presidential hopefuls want to let this opportunity pass.

Warming Up the Wife

2007-02-08T12:03:00.000-08:00

All men know that the primary function of the movie date is to warm the wife/girlfriend up to the awkward advances that you have never improved upon since you were 18. So here are a few recent movies that fit the bill. Notice, that this list makes no claims about the quality of the movies:
The Holiday
Pride and Prejudice
Walk the Line
The Illusionist

I didn't see everything this year, but this past season certainly seemed thin on good romances. Of the list above, I recommend Pride and Prejudice and The Illusionist. Walk the Line may lacks the romantic punch of the others, and The Holiday is almost unendurable. Still, the aesthetic standard here is ROMANTIC PAYOFF. If you get a nap in the theater beforehand, where is the harm in that?

Please feel free to add to this list via comments, as you discover new sources of romantic juice flow inducers...

University Reform in Europe

2007-02-06T12:09:00.000-08:00

University reforms in the US mirror changes in Europe

Nicole Itano, Correspondent of The Christian Science Monitor said, "The tear gas-drenched protests that racked Greece during the past month reflect a broader crisis in higher education across the continent. Beleaguered by a lack of funding, rising numbers of students, and excessive state control, Europe's universities (mostly low-cost or free and funded by the government) are struggling to compete. But many countries are finding reform is not easy to implement - though they agree it is needed. "

The problem Itano points out is that European universities lag behind universities in the USA, "But as a whole, European universities have stagnated and now lag behind American universities by almost every measure - from funding to achievements in research to graduation rates." He sites the Chinese study that shows 8 of the top ten universities are in the USA (Oxford and Cambridge also made the top 10) and the top 100 is again mostly American institutions.

This is pretty humorous, because Margret Spelling is demanding big changes in universities in the USA because our universities are lagging behind the rest of the world. Hmmm.

Super Bowl

2007-02-05T11:45:00.000-08:00

Good Super Bowl...well, good first three quarters. Rex sorta threw it away at the end...

Pity Manning got MVP. I thought Addai and Rhodes should have shared the honor. The running game was key to the Indy victory, not Peyton's arm.

I think Prince should have gotten the BPA, biggest penis award. It wasn't so much hand puppets as penis puppets.

Dual Credit Courses

2007-02-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

Universities and state legislatures continue to wrestle over the ever increasing costs of higher education. Though the problem is often described as a crisis (recently Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings claimed that universities face a crisis of access, affordability and accountability) one can only assume that the user of this word do not own a dictionary. A crisis is what the folks stuck in the New Orleans during Katrina experienced.

Nonetheless, nobody doubts that university costs are spiraling out of control. The question is, how do we fix it? The answer ought to address this problem it two ways:

1. Identify the cause of the spiraling costs. Is it faculty salaries? Is it administrative salaries? Is it housing, books, food?
2. Once identified, address the cause in such a way as to prevent injury to the quality of the educational experience.

In just a quick glance at Margaret Spellings' study, one wonders what accountability has to do with costs? Spellings claims that universities offer no reliable data on graduation rates or financial aid. This claim is simply false. Universities track this data like bloodhounds. But tracking this data does nothing for reducing costs.

There have been a wide variety of silver bullets to the cost "crisis" in higher education. Since the 1990's they have all been aimed at reducing the amount of time students actually spend on the university campus interfacing with faculty and other students. Examples of these silver bullets include On-line Distance Learning Dual Credit Courses in high school. Both of these solutions suggests that the by reducing the time students spend on campus will reduce the cost of higher education. The problem is that neither system really addresses cost. Taking the student off the campus actually increases the cost of educational delivery. The whole point of the campus is to centralize educational resources. Moving the students off campus means you incur the added expense of transporting the educational resources. The way costs are then reduced, is by failing to transport the educational resources. What is really happening here is that by moving the educational site off campus, you move it out from under the watchful eye of those who care about academic quality. Once it is far away, you provide minimum resources and hence reduce your costs. Of course, you also hurt education.

I will be providing a more in depth study of this material at this website and in Educational Insider in the future. Also, feel free to visit the following websites for my work on distance learning and academic freedom.

http://www.ed.psu.edu/ACSDE/deos/deosnews/deosnews10_3.asp

http://scholar.lib.vt.edu/ejournals/SPT/v5n3/pdf/simmons.pdf

Iran in Iraq

2007-02-02T12:35:00.000-08:00

The Bush administration is accusing the Iranian's of meddling in Iraq. Am I the only one who is left speechless by this accusation. Let me get this straight; we are accusing them of meddling in Iraq? We, who invaded Iraq, overthrew their government, established a new government based on American values, and currently patrol the streets killing civilians who oppose the new government, are accusing the Iranians of meddling in Iraq?

But it only get's richer. Our biggest complaint is that they are arming the Shiites. Arming the Shiites? The new government we put in place is a Shiite government, with a Shiite police force. And who is providing weapons to that Shiite police force? The USA. We want the Shiites armed.

The real problem here is exactly what everyone warned the Bush administration about before the invasion. The majority of Iraqis are Shiites. The majority of Iranians are Shiites. If you overthrow the Sunni government in Iraq and set up a democracy, you will be creating Iran West. Well, that is what we have done. Remember the Iran/Iraq war that was fought in the 1980's, we supported Sadam and the Iraqis and sold them chemical weapons to use against the Iranians, and that war ended in stalemate? Well, we just won that war for Iran. And now that the Bush administration has realized it, they are pissed at Iran...

The solution, another 21,000 troops. The question is, what the hell for? To fight for Iran and the Shiites? Stay tuned to your local TV station. This can only get better.

Bush says, "Once more into the breech..."

2007-01-30T12:37:00.000-08:00

Our noble president is calling for a surge, a build-up, an enhancement, or augmentation. It all sounds rather phallic to me. Perhaps he has been getting too many of the penis enhancement e-mails. But I am never one to back down from Freudian symbolism, so if the president wants to talk in terms of phallocentrism, I am all for it.

Congress, the public, the media (except Fox News and talk radio) all seem to oppose this latest thrust into Iraq. But the president assures us that he does not follow the polls, congress, or the American people when deciding how to spread (the legs of) democracy.

I support the surge, on the theory that keeping our troops in Iraq may keep them out of Iran, Syria, North Korea, or France. I know it is expensive. The president is predicting 15 billion per month for his augmentation. The e-mail offers I got for augmentation were significantly less. At this price, the man will retire from office with the most expensive augmentation in history.

Xmas Movie Reviews

2006-12-25T09:03:00.000-08:00

Of course, I haven't seen everything that is out, but lets take a look at a few.

1. The New James Bond (I refuse to acknowledge the distinct names for this endless sequelization): The movie is worth the price of admission, which is more than can be said for the last couple. The decision to bring the action up to full speed, rather than slow motion, really pays off, giving the new Bond film a fresh, fast paced, rough and touble feel. Also, the decision to tone down the final showdown (it is a fight over money, not world domination) is refreshing and removes James from the ranks of the superheros and into the ranks of the secret agents, where he belongs. Also, nice girl choices.
2. Happy Feet: My family loved it.
3. Eragon: Hmmm. My 8 year old loved it. This is a problem. The violence in the movie is much too graphic for 8 year olds. I didn't take my 6 year old, and am glad for it. But the movie is too cliche, sappy, predictable and lacking in interesting dialogue to be appreciated by anyone over 8. So if you have an 8 year old who enjoys graphic violence, this is your movie.
4. The Holiday: Great date movie. Silly plot, terrible dialogue, good acting...this is the kind of movie that you can leave to go to the bathroom, get popcorn, slip into another theater for a few minutes and return, without feeling you missed anything. In fact, you could skip the entire thing and feel as though you hadn't missed anything. But alas, some movies seem made simply to warm the wives up to our advances, and this movie seems to fit that bill.

THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS

2006-12-20T14:33:00.000-08:00

Thank God for the War on Christmas. Apparently the American public had grown tired of the War in Iraq, and Fox News decided a new war might capture their attention. Like the War in Iraq, I confess that I do not fully understand the goal of Fox's War on Christmas. The gist seems to be that good red-blooded Americans celebrate Christmas and only Christmas this time of year. But the new-age, vegetarian liberals, with their "Happy Kwanzaa, Season’s Greetings, Happy New Year, Felice Navidad, and Happy Hanukkahs," want to include Jews, Blacks, and Mexicans (Fox News has not quite figured out what Felice Navidad means, but they suspect it to be a neo-leftist slogan celebrating illegal border crossings).

One wonders exactly why the expansion of the holiday season would cause such consternation. After all, there were not any Christians at the first celebration of Christ’s birth, just a few Jews and pagans (the wise men were Zoroastrians). I suppose it is the same as the gay marriage problem. If gay people marry then it will somehow ruin my heterosexual marriage. If store owners say Season’s Greetings instead of Merry Christmas, then Santa wont stop at my house.

My spiritual advisor, Jackson Beaman Floyd (lobbyist for big insurance companies), recently reminded me that it was the pagan emperor Constantine who established the Christmas holiday, deciding both the date and colors of the celebration. We English speaking folk probably have Prince Edward to blame for the Christmas tree, having brought them into England from his homeland in Germany in the 1800’s. Of course, the Christmas tree was a pagan symbol generally associated with Solstice celebrations. Same too goes with holly and mistletoe.

The point is that Christmas was already a fine blend of divergent cultures and religions: a veritable poster-child for the new-age, vegetarian liberal’s multi-culturalism. But in the end, perhaps we would be better off as a nation if we cut and run in Iraq and focused our efforts on this War on Christmas. Here perhaps Fox has found a war we can win.

Bush's new plan for Iraq

2006-12-11T16:50:00.000-08:00

As Bush meets with top aides to discuss a new plan for Iraq, the rest of us scratch our heads and as the obvious question, "New?" The vast majority of us are surprised only because these meetings send the unbelievable message that the president had a plan at the outset of this adventure. Oh sure, there was that rather vague plan that involved the waving of flags and the Iraqi people welcoming us as liberators. But after you wage a bombing campaign that you call, SHOCK AND AWE, you don't honestly expect the folks who have just endured the best shock and awe the world's lone superpower can muster, to pull out their blood stained flags and waive them at you as you goose step through their streets.

I am not the first to recognize how silly the war rhetoric has become. Some folks inside the beltway have already decided that the time has come to fight the war rhetorically, since the military option has long been over. These folks insist that it is now time to release the lawyers and spinners upon Iraq, craft a careful series of speeches that proclaim our victory, manhood, and honor (image the American flag waving in the background with the God Bless America playing softly). We must artfully blame all failure on the Iraqi people themselves, who as the president regularly reminds us, hate freedom. We tried to give it to them, but they wouldn't take it. Like a bum refusing food, wanting money for wine instead, the Iraqi's refused freedom, choosing violence instead. After a month of blasting the airwaves with this all-American message, we pull the troops out in a cascade of red, white and blue, build a big war memorial in DC to the fallen in Iraq, and call it a day.

Iraq - Baker

2006-12-07T13:16:00.000-08:00

I want Baker's job. You get to head up a commission designed to tell the president where and when he has gone wrong in foreign policy. They had over 70 recommendations. I might have had a few more. Funny, there was a time when Republicans were viewed as more effective on foreign policy than domestic.

Anyway, seems it would be great fun to have a national audience as you dress down the president.

The bright side of all of this is that the USA will probably get out of Iraq sooner than later. If I was a betting man, I would say before Xmas 2007. Certainly before the 2008 elections, because Republicans know that our presence in Iraq will throw the election to the Democrats, just as it did last November. The Republicans will force Bush out of Iraq by then.

And the sooner we get out, the cheaper it is for us. This war has cost us 10 billion a month, not counting the initial run-up costs. That's real money, and it has created a debt that my great-grand children will have to pay off.

I don't like to speak for other folks, so I wont speculate on how the military folks will feel about the departure. I will leave that to them.

Now the only question is rhetoric. How do we describe our exit so as to make it graceful? Winning or losing wont do. To win, you must have a loser. I suppose we might say that the insurgents lost, but the insurgents are mostly Sunnis and we don't want to tell the new Iraqi nation that we defeated the Sunnis. Nor can we declare that we defeated the Shiites, for they are the majority of the new Iraqi government. In fact, the war against Iraq was won when we captured Sadam. The invasion always was about Sadam. We probably should have declared victory and left then. But I wont critique Bush's bush league foreign policy. That is Baker's sweat-heart job.

Probably we could exit Iraq today if the Baker commission could just come up with the right words to describe our belated "victory". "Cut and run" wont do, though I kind of like it. And since Baker didn't come up with any good words, perhaps I will try a couple. Here are a few first efforts:

1. Got Sadam!
2. Blew some shit up and blew.
3. Wham, Bam, Democracy, scram.
4. We've done all we could. Now its time for Iraq to show her qualities.
5. Our soldiers done yeoman's work. It's time to bring them home.
6. Mission accomplished: the situation in Iraq is back to normal - everyone killing each other.
7. We said we would bring democracy to Iraq. Well, apparently Iraqi democracy includes car bombs.
8. Merry Xmas.
9. We are handing Iraq over to the Iraqis in better shape than we found it, just as we promised.
10.Victory!

Each suggestion has pros and cons. Bush has proven effective in bold faced lies, so #9 plays into his foreign policy strength. #6 & #7 are tougher because they involve too much truth. I also like #4 & #5 because they utterly ignore the reality in Iraq, focusing instead on what matters to us...us.

Republicans abandon Bush

2006-08-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

The fall in DC has begun, as Republicans preparing for November elections begin to distance themselves from President Bush and his failed Iraq War. Of course, Republicans can't push too hard, because they supported the President's War. To change course now would be distinctly un-Republican [never admit a mistake, even when your pants are around your knees]. But they are claiming that the President has made errors: not enough troops, too many troops, no schedules for departure, too many schedules for departure...Anything to make them appear to have an idea.

Of course, the Republicans have little to fear in November, as the Democrats are themselves still without a plan. The biggest Democratic splash of 2006 has been an stiff ex-Vice President's movie about global warming. The Demos will pick up a couple seats, but don't expect things in Washington DC to change much until the Demos find a new party line.

After Gore's defeat in 2000, we became a one-party nation. As the Republicans crumble, are we moving towards a no-party nation?

USA with its pants around its knees

2006-07-31T10:56:00.000-07:00

With wars in Afghanistan and Iraq raging, and the US hoping to transform these previously independent nations into democratic client states of the USA, president Bush decided to support the Israeli bombardment of Lebanon. Whether you like the idea of Israeli military strikes on civilians or not, Bush's support of the destruction of this Islamic state destroys what little credibility he had left with the Islamic populations in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Of course, this credibility was already injured by the mishandling of the Iraq war, the mishandling of prisoners, and the failure of the US government to support the freely elected government in Palestine. You may not like Hamas, but they were freely elected, and if you believe in democracy (and Bush keeps telling the Islamic nations that he does) then you are supposed to respect democratic decisions. Our failure to support the Hamas government makes it clear to the world that the US is merely looking for client states, and not interested in developing independent democratic nations.

But now the US backing of the Israeli shelling of Lebanon makes our efforts to "win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people” nearly impossible.

Watch closely folks. These next few weeks you will see for yourself the unraveling of Bush’s presidency.

To my friends at Terra Incognita

2006-07-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

Here is a special hello to my anarchist friends at Terra Incognita. Keep fighting the good fight.

The End of the Iraq War

2006-06-21T06:28:00.000-07:00

THE DEATH OF A TERRORIST
The US declared a measure of victory after killing al-Zarqawi. That al-Zarqawi was made a terrorist by the War in Iraq tempered the victory celebrations somewhat. But the series of deadly explosions and attacks that followed his death through a bucket full of cold water on the celebrations.
THE BRIGHT SIDE OF QUAGMIRE
As one political scientists put it, the silver lining on our failure in Iraq is that the Bush administration hasn't invaded Syria, Iran or North Korea. Had the war in Iraq gone well, our taxes would be supporting wars all over the globe.

World Cup and the LA

2006-06-21T06:26:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone is enjoying the World Cup.

And here is a special hello to the members (official and otherwise) of the LA. May they live long and prosper.

Kenny's Response to Brown and the Catholics

2006-06-06T07:23:00.000-07:00

Kenny responds to the Da Vinci Code by paraphrasing HL Mencken, no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

Da Vinci Code - It's only a movie

2006-06-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

Why are the Christians panicking about The Da Vinci Code? There have been non-fictional responses written to the book, to remind the faithful that the book is only fiction. Never mind that the book claims to be only fiction, and that it appears in the FICTION section of bookstores. American readers need reminding.

Why?

I can only speculate.

Perhaps it is because American audiences of books and movies have become so accustomed to consuming information through the entertainment medium, they can no longer distinguish fact and fiction. We have witnessed the news channels adopt more and more of the trappings of entertainment TV, in order to attract audiences. Perhaps this is the source of the blur between fact and fiction in the American mind.

Perhaps it is because our government plays so loose and free with "facts", and then uses staged events and photo opportunities to support their libertine use of misinformation, that the American audiences have come to trust (or distrust) anything that appears in print, TV or the movie screen.

Perhaps it is a sign of the end of Christianity. When a religion that claims to sustain a single truth for 2000 must reply to a silly little movie that sports the latest French tart with the All-American Hero running around Europe in an effort to sublimate their sexual desires, that is certainly the sign that the faithful have lost faith. As I innocently read The Da Vinci Code, I could only remember thinking, why didn't Dan Brown get our hero and heroine together at the end. They are the perfect couple. Where is the kiss? But the Christian audiences, whose faith is obviously gone, were still pondering the TRUTH of the tale, which never claimed to be true.

On the bright side, perhaps it is because literature still has a place in the making and shaping of our culture. Pity that it took this rather flimsy thriller to capture the cultural spirit, but lovers of literature should not balk at the form. If the American mind is captured by The Da Vinci Code instead of Daniel Dennett's DARWIN'S DANGEROUS IDEA (a fabulous book that truly challenges the Christian faith and claims to be true), we lovers of literature should just nod our heads and say, "Glad you liked the book enough to read another one."

Ethics Training for Troops after War Crimes

2006-06-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

U.S. commanders have ordered new ethics training for all troops in Iraq. This comes after evidence that US troops have been busy shooting women and children in Iraq, because, as Army Brig. Gen Donald Campbell says. “They’re just upset.”

In fact, the General said,

"It doesn't excuse the acts that have occurred, and we're going to look into them. But I would say it's stress, fear, isolation and, in some cases, they're just upset. They see their buddies getting blown up on occasion, and they could snap.”

Well, I suppose they could just snap. The good general admits that this doesn’t excuse the behavior. Of course it doesn’t. But if generals know this kind of thing is likely to happen, then shouldn't this serve as a reminder that we shouldn’t go to war unless it is a last resort.

In war, soldiers are going to get stressed out and start shooting innocent people. IT just happenes. It happened in the Revolutionary War, Civil War, World War I, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, and now in Iraq. It is the cost of war, and why the folks who need ethical training are those residing in the West Wing of the White House. You don't go to war unless the situation is bad enough to justify the killing of lots of innocent people.

Of course, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld would remind us that, "We know that 99.9 percent of our forces conduct themselves in an exemplary manner.” This is like defense attorney in court saying that his client, though convicted of murder, spent 99.9 percent of his life not murdering people, but instead living his life in an exemplary way.

It only takes a few moments to turn an exemplary life into a criminal one, and it only takes a few civilian killings to turn a military action into terrorism.

Prosecuting a war in Iraq on false intelligence reports and fear mongering created the perfect environment for war crimes. President Bush knew it, which is why he pushed legislation that would give US soldiers immunity to international war crimes.

Welcome to the Iraq nightmare. We go to Iraq to free the people from Saddam and bring them democracy, even if that means we have to kill them all to do it.

I would love to hear this ethics training the military is threatening to employ.

Ethics Trainer: “Don’t shoot the women.”

Soldier: “But we were told that the terrorist look like civilians. And some women have been shooting at us and setting bombs. How do we know the women aren’t terrorists?”

Ethics Trainer: “Fair enough. OK, shoot the women, but don’t shoot the babies?”
Soldier: “How old counts as a baby? After all, sometimes the kids have guns too.”

Ethics Trainer: “Hmmm. Good point. Let’s go with this. If the baby is sucking on his mother’s tit, just shoot the mom.”

Seal the Border

2006-05-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

With our president boldly sending 6000 National Guardians to defend our borders against a Mexican invasion, one is left to ponder, does Mexico then present an immanent threat to our security? And if Saddam can be called a weapon of mass destruction (as our brave president did), then cannot the millions of Mexican's poised to dash across the border be called weapons of mass destruction? And if so, does this not then justify regime change in Mexico, through military intervention?

Let us bring democracy to Mexico. Surely they will welcome us as liberators. That they are all trying to come to the US is proof enough, is it not? They will welcome us as liberators and the captured tequilla stills will pay for the entire thing.