Paul Floyd Shot in Iraq

My dear friend, Paul Floyd, was shot yesterday during a raid in Iraq. He was fortunate to have been hit in his right index finger. As my spiritual advisor, Beaman Floyd put it, "He may have to find a new finger to pick his nose with," none the less, we are pleased that he is otherwise safe and sound. His finger was apparently still clinging by a "thread" of skin, and has been sew back on. Hopefully it will return to being a full member of his body. We wish him a speedy recovery.

With luck, Paul Floyd's index finger will have been shot off for a good cause - victory in Iraq. I am still not sure what victory in Iraq might look like. Images of Italians waving American flags as American soldiers march into their cities come to mind, but that opportunity came and went a few years ago. Now we are stuck. We are not literally stuck. The soldiers could leave at any moment. But we are politically stuck because our president has insisted that to leave without victory would be to accept defeat. Well, no American can accept defeat; it isn't in our nature (at least not yet). But not sure what a victory in Iraq might look like, how can we know victory when we see it? Here are a few suggestions for a new vision of victory in Iraq.

1. No Americans shot or killed for 24 hours. "We win, let's go home."
2. Electric power in Bagdad for 12 straight hours. "Now all y'all need is Fox News and this place will be just like America. Mission accomplished, we're going home."
3. Halliburton posts record quarterly earnings. "Mission accomplished, let's go home."
4. We fly a squadron of F-18's over Bagdad while the Navy band plays "God Bless America" in the street. Nobody is killed in the effort. "The streets of Bagdad are safe. Let's go home."
5. Fewer than 10 American's are killed in a month. "The streets of Bagdad are as safe as the streets of Savannah (where Paul is stationed when not in Iraq). Mission accomplished."